Monday, August 16, 2004
mixed up
yeah , yeah...i know i haven't updated by blog for quite a while. it's just that i have been sooo sooo busy than i ever was busy in my entire life. it was hell at the office for a couple of weeks. one because of my back logs , two because of my boo boos and three because 24 hours just ain't enough. it was the first time i ever experienced spending 15 straight hours working for 5 straight days. i really thought i'd die of either lack of sleep or starvation because there's just so much to do that i have no time to eat either of the three meals in a day.
boy was i harassed like shit. come friday that week, my whole body was already aching and i know i'd be sick the day after. talk about physical resignation.
just when i relish the thought of a feverish weekend ahead, relish because for some reason, i have been sick for just like a couple of times in my entire life. back to what i was saying, as i relish the thought of a feverish weekend ahead, i took my first complete 8 hour sleep in the last 2 weeks.
and lo and behold, i was all well again...dammit!
i know i have to be like thankful at least for giving me this invincible health as i call it, but man...i do need a break...even if it meant getting bed ridden and all...oh well...even my mom was amazed at how resistant i am to any kind of sickness...
thank god that that episode is finally over. at least for now. and because the experience was just so horrible, i have been starting to rethink about my career since then. yup, i've had this struggle before..not being able to identify what i really want to do...or to be...or being sort of able but having all these what if's sprouting all over my head.
ok ok...so i really wanna be a teacher...just like min , or janice , or several others i know. it's just that when i help sam on her homeworks and teach her stuff, i subconsiously wish i am her teacher ... i wish i am a teacher for kids like her. i know i'd be a good one...i just know it...
but then again, teaching , like we all know...is more of a service than a career. it would be half brave and half stupid of me to leave all these and settle in a little school, teaching little children and just receiving little money. believe me, i've had sleepless nights and sleepless trips home because of this.
to cut it short, it has been a couple of weeks of emotional, physical and mental challenge. it has been so hard i even wished not to wake up the day after.
and all these made my realize what i have been doing in my life...working to live? or living to work? and the realization struck me...how life here in the phils can be so unfair...because you never really get to do what you have been wanting to do all your life...because people here have to work till their 60's and 70's...because kids are being left at home by their parents and things will pretty be much like that till they grow up...
bakit pa kasi nauso pa ang luho...and how it kind of measures the kind of person you are.
oh well so much for my angst and ramblings...
anyways, i really ...like REALLY want to go to the US with Sam and Jay...and yup...go to Disneyland!!! Wooohooo!!!not that it's all ready and 100% sure...but i really wish...and pray the three of us can finally go there and have the grandest time...to compensate to whatever we lost in the last five months...
well, at first it seemed impossible because , if you've been reading all my blabbering at the start of this blog,work sucks. it seemed impossible for my bosses especially Miss O to approve of my 2 week unpaid leave come end of september. i couldn't blame her, like what i said, i was a mess. so i needed a plan B, and plan B meant to look for a new job...first, because of the trip and second, because i felt i can only have a break if i resign.so there i was...job hunting again!!!
so let me tell you about my jub hunting experience...well, i'd first have to say that i NEVER enjoyed doing it..as in NEVER...job hunting is time consuming, costly and most of all, i'd got to have a lot of excuses under my sleeve as each interview comes...
... to be continued ...
babyburn at 5:18 PM