Thursday, September 23, 2004
five months
bestfriend will finally be back on monday after almost five long months of emotional roller coaster ride. for five months i have experienced how it felt being a single mom. well not really, one, single moms usually have a hard time making both ends meet while i have two ATMs(Ha!) mine and bestfriends. and another, i never felt alone because i know he's just half a world away and besides that,everything else is the same.i would have to admit that it was damn hard at first. imagine being used to waking up with that special person beside you and all of a sudden the bed that seemed so small now felt so roomy. the dateless fridays. the long talks both profound and trivial. not to mention having to make big decisions without him.
however, the five month experience was not all gloomy and distressing. i can say, it did have its moments. for one, sam and i got closer. we fooled around more. we have become more dependent of each other. we are so close that we now sleep hugging each other during the night.
i got to spend time with my family, that is, papa, nanay, sis and her kids. not that we don't get to spend time together before. it just that, it felt like the old times...when bestfriend and i were not married yet and my priorities different. i made use of this time to make them feel special, whether by treating them out or just chatting with them. it was my way of thanking them for helping me out ALL the time and for being with me come hell or high waters.
i got to spend more time alone reading, (window) shopping or just staring at nothing thinking about anything.
on monday, bestfriend is back and everything will be back to normal. will i miss this experience? yes, i think so, i know there will be times when i want to be alone and do everything my way. but right now, i miss him. my partner. my half. my bestfriend. with whom i feel loved, disarmed, free, happy and excited all at the same time.
so which role will a choose? being a mother? a daughter? a sister? a wife? a friend? being myself? i guess i really don't have to. god i'm blessed! and i thank you because i know that whatever role i'm into at any point in this life, i will be happy because you gave all these people that gave meaning to each role i play.
babyburn at 2:42 PM
1 Comments
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at 10:02 AM
jajajanice! said... hay naku berns, i was touched by your post.. definitely a palpitating story.. hayy.