Friday, October 08, 2004

i never really liked my wedding

i've been seeing a lot of wedding blogs lately. there's jovan and charo's.dj billie's. and a few others. seeing all those blissful and colorful pictures. of elaborate preparations. i just can't help but remember how it was. you know. my wedding.

first, i'd have to say my MARRIAGE has been great. it has been wonderful actually. it does have its share of screwups and pitfalls. but overall is has been fun and happy. but my wedding...

let's just say that if i had an option to choose an event in my life i would like to "redo", then this would be topping the list. imagine this, a couple of penniless yuppies who "needed" to do it because we're racing against the stork's arrival. know what i'm sayin'?

everything was just so rushed and pressured that i never really enjoyed, more so, knew what i was getting into. that it was a wedding. a union of two souls loving. a sharing of lives. and that it was OUR wedding. MY wedding.

imagine counting the guests and mentally computing if the food will suffice. or seeing the faces of "the folks" all screwed up like their having constipation. yes, there were a few people who really wished happiness for us. but the people that mattered were there just because they have to.

i mean, it should have been my day wasn't it? i should have been celebrating and enjoying and savoring every moment when finally the love of my life and i will finally live a life together.

maybe because i wasn't really the type of girl who at her teens already knew what her bridal gown would look like or what type of flowers will decorate the altar or things like that. or maybe because there was just not much time or money...or help. honestly, it was one point in my life that i felt alone, except for a handful of people who have always been there oblivious of how i was feeling inside.

and now. that wedding is short of taboo in discussions between my and him or me and anybody else. i never really actually saw the wedding video since we got it from the supplier more than three years ago. or the wedding pictures. i guess i just don't want to remember how low felt at the day which should have been the biggest event of my life.

well, it's over. and happy memories of sam being born, and seeing her grow up. being with him and discovering how wonderful a man he is everyday. and all these precious events in my life that took place thereafter sort of outweigh whatever sad memory that day loomed in me.

there. i've finally said it. i did not like my wedding. i did like the honeymoon though. i guess i would just have to be happy with all those friends enjoying theirs. and wish that in my next life, i'd have a ball of a wedding. but with the same groom of course.

babyburn at 11:35 AM

10comments

10 Comments

at 1:23 PM  Jack said...

hey berns...galing ng timing mo about wedding ah...tommorow aattend din me ng wedding..well mostly nga ng mga friends ko ikinakasal na..hay... ako kaya kailan???(mangarap ba???)hehehehe
well kidding aside, di naman kailangan napakaganda ng wedding day para i-treasure yun its only an add-on memories with your love ones(pero syempre sa ating mga girls big deal yung day na yun kasi para kang princess na magpapakasal sa prince mo) but i think the most important eh yung days after your wedding day na magkakasama kayo for the rest of your lives...and how do you spend your life and maintaining a good relationship with your husband...at least ikaw masaya ka within your marriage so nothing to worry about...di ba berns??
and dont worry pwede pa naman mag take 2 ng wedding sa 25th anniversary nyo eh...di ba???sana invited ako pagdating nung time na yun....
miss you berns!!!!

 

at 1:46 PM  babyburn said...

wow...thanks jack.

yun nga eh...cguro kasi parang yun yung ininstill sa tin ng mga magazines and movies...dapat princess tayo pag wedding natin...oh well...there's no use ranting about it now...gusto ko lang i share ang not so good part of my life ...

i miss you too girl! musta ka na? mamaya gusto mo?
hehehe

 

at 11:21 AM  min said...

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at 11:24 AM  min said...

shux, berns! i remember you clearly those days when you were preparing your wedding! :) nasa bulok na victoria pa tayo nun! tapos di ka pinapayagang umuwi one time ni sir romy kasi may tinatapos pa kayong "usapang pinoycentral-the comeback" ata! hahaha! :D pero, wag ka! hangang-hanga ako sa yo, sa inyo ni jay! i don't know about the rest of your guests, but i felt that love is clearly evident that day :) you may think that it's simple and not too grand, but i'm proud of you, two then. syempre, may buko-pandan sa handaan! eh di ba favorite natin to! :) inoorder pa natin sa taga-pantry ng sky hehehe, tapos ang personalized ng souvenir... haha, buko-pandan at souvenir lang pala! :P no, no, no! di lang yun! basta, love and joy were all around that day :) hmm.. kung ikakasal man ako, sana parang noong feb. 3, 2001. naks! ;)

(yuck! naalala ko rin yung mga pix natin nun, ang pangit ko! :P )

 

at 11:24 AM  min said...

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at 9:33 AM  jajajanice! said...

bakit parang naiyak ako... :(

 

at 9:33 AM  jajajanice! said...

bakit parang naiyak ako... :(

 

at 5:27 PM  anneanne said...

sabi nila, it's every girl's dream have a grand wedding, to someday wear a beautiful wedding gown with intricate beading, or a reception in a classy hotel...as for me, what has always been my dream is to have a simple, intimate wedding, to be married to my one true love, to spend a happy and blissful forever together, with little pau-paos and anne-annes hihihi! what I want are the things that matter most, which you already have. so, you see, idol kita! =) we're so blessed, aren't we?

 

at 10:00 AM  Jovan Puyo said...

Hi Burns! Nalungkot ako when I read this blog entry. I wished na sana kami na ni Charo noon pa lang nung nag-aayos ka ng wedding para marami kang input. But seeing the EK picture of your hubby, your Sam and you, mukhang it turned out just great. Because in the end, it's really the day after that counts. :)

 

at 11:22 AM  babyburn said...

Huy thanks Jovan. =P Sa Silver Wedding Anniv na lang namin kayo ni Charo hahanapin ko...hehehe

 

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