Thursday, June 23, 2005
that place...
i have come face to face with death in more than one instance in the last three months and ihope and pray that that would be the last of it. there's jay's dad, my aunt and the pope.
all connected to me by blood, by marriage or by faith. i honestly think that i have had enough
of it that recently, i have been having dreams or rather nightmares of people i know or myself dying, getting hurt. or i, being trapped in some dark labyrinth.
though death has taught me that nothing is permanent and all of us, in the most unexpected times, will inevitably be transformed back to our original form, that is, ash. it has somehow made the concept of this place called Heaven more clearer and true.
maybe it is both the believer and the dreamer in me that actually holds on to the thought that all three of them are up there and having the grandest time of their lives...if you can technically call it as such. sam is not spared from all these, too. not once did she ask me what was happening and why her lolo pedro or her tita doray or the pope died and what will happen to them. and in these talks did we came up with our own picture of what heaven would be...
...that heaven is a place where everyone is happy...
...that in heaven you call yourself with a name you most wanted... we haven't decided what ours would be though
...that in heaven you can do whatever you have most wanted to do here on earth but for some reason was not able to do...
...that in heaven you can be whatever you want to be...be it wind or a horse or a rainbow
...that in heaven, God is a constant playmate
just recently, sam asked me if i think they have already met each other up there. i said most probably. and she asked me what their new names are. i just smiled and wondered myself.
babyburn at 3:58 PM