Thursday, August 26, 2004
proud momma
sam will be competing for some declamation contest in filipino and i couldn't be more proud. she just turned three last month and here she is competing against other older kids tomorrow? i mean...wow!
too bad her dad and i can't be there to watch her. though, honestly, i think it would be better if we don't watch her since she sometimes transforms into this "tantrumic" bratty little girl when we're around. honestly, i don't care if she wins or lose, i'm just so happy she's enjoying school and just proud she's doing really well.
babyburn at 9:59 AM
sore eyes, kids and disneyland
i just had an unexpected vacation this week. and i loved it. that was the only time i loved having sore eyes...hehehe...well actually, it was sam who had it first and expectedly i was hit. everyone in the family was hit. and i tell you we made use of the time to just chill and have a break. we all needed one.
updates...updates, the "US Tour" was cancelled. wow, i like the sound of that...US tour...hehehe. anyway, yeah, it was cancelled, jay was so upset when he got the news, well actually me too.we thought we needed the break because we've been encountering a lot of not-so-good-things lately.but eventually, we've accepted it and just hoped for another opportunity to come by. sam, too, was upset at first, but the good thing about little kids is that what they don't know won't hurt them. i just told her that, there are no horses in Disneyland, pfft...a cheap excuse, i tell you. not that she's all crazy about horses, it's just that it's the first lame excuse that popped up my head and i needed one at that instant. i told her we'll be going to enchanted kingdom instead...wow...what a comparison...but then, the kid wouldn't know. sorry baby.
anyways, sam and i and kuku, my 8 year old nephew had a blast just hanging around the last five days. we were like three foolish kids, all with sore eyes mind you, doing whatever we wanted to do.we watched cartoon network most of the time, made drawings, slept, talked and just fooled around. being with kids and being one of them is just so...refreshing. you can talk to them about anything and just be yourself with them. with them i can be foolish, and crazy and have fun.
babyburn at 9:33 AM
Thursday, August 19, 2004
demented
i'm being demented by dementors again...i need happy thoughts...babyburn at 9:34 AM
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
mixed up (ii)
you wouldn't believe what happened...i turned down a job that would pay me almost double of what i was getting in absi...and i'm happy. i'm just so relieved that i was finally able to decide after several grueling sessions of thinking, computation, reflection and of course...prayer.
i mean, i am now a living proof, that money really is not everything. whew. and boy was i glad that i made that decision with bestfriend. but it didn't come easy i tell you, with the prices of every basic commodity now on the rise...and sam's expenses in school and ... ooops...i better stop now before i regret it.
anyways, again, it was another "fork" in a my path. i have sure been getting a lot of it lately. why the decision? well simple...it just doesn't feel right. who would ever thought that looking for a job is very much like looking for The One. it's just that i wish i as good at the former as i was on the latter. right bi?
oh well, as they say, when in doubt ... fart..i mean...don't. and besides i have come to appreciate this humble career of mine, the small group of friends i've had, the comfort from familiarity, this may not be ideal. i may get pissed every now and then.but this is good...for now that is. i still can't consider it The One but who knows?like love, it will just hit you when you least expect it...
babyburn at 4:50 PM
pa...
i soo love my dad...my papa...that is.for some reason i want to dedicate this blog to him.
pa, thank you for lovingly preparing my baon every day.
thank you for waking me up though sometimes i answer it with a stale "Ayan na po!"
thank you for greeting me good morning every...yes...morning even if i'm cranky and i seldom greet you back.
thank you for asking how my day was when i get home.
thank you for buying me fishballs every sunday.
thank you for respecting me and my decisions and my words, though sometimes, i forget who you are and how i should treat you...that is, with utmost respect and obedience.
you may not be a perfect dad, i may not understand you sometimes or most of the times but you will forever be the best dad for me.
thank you for loving me unconditionally and for treating me as your baby all the time.
love you pa...mwah!
babyburn at 11:48 AM
Monday, August 16, 2004
mixed up
yeah , yeah...i know i haven't updated by blog for quite a while. it's just that i have been sooo sooo busy than i ever was busy in my entire life. it was hell at the office for a couple of weeks. one because of my back logs , two because of my boo boos and three because 24 hours just ain't enough. it was the first time i ever experienced spending 15 straight hours working for 5 straight days. i really thought i'd die of either lack of sleep or starvation because there's just so much to do that i have no time to eat either of the three meals in a day.
boy was i harassed like shit. come friday that week, my whole body was already aching and i know i'd be sick the day after. talk about physical resignation.
just when i relish the thought of a feverish weekend ahead, relish because for some reason, i have been sick for just like a couple of times in my entire life. back to what i was saying, as i relish the thought of a feverish weekend ahead, i took my first complete 8 hour sleep in the last 2 weeks.
and lo and behold, i was all well again...dammit!
i know i have to be like thankful at least for giving me this invincible health as i call it, but man...i do need a break...even if it meant getting bed ridden and all...oh well...even my mom was amazed at how resistant i am to any kind of sickness...
thank god that that episode is finally over. at least for now. and because the experience was just so horrible, i have been starting to rethink about my career since then. yup, i've had this struggle before..not being able to identify what i really want to do...or to be...or being sort of able but having all these what if's sprouting all over my head.
ok ok...so i really wanna be a teacher...just like min , or janice , or several others i know. it's just that when i help sam on her homeworks and teach her stuff, i subconsiously wish i am her teacher ... i wish i am a teacher for kids like her. i know i'd be a good one...i just know it...
but then again, teaching , like we all know...is more of a service than a career. it would be half brave and half stupid of me to leave all these and settle in a little school, teaching little children and just receiving little money. believe me, i've had sleepless nights and sleepless trips home because of this.
to cut it short, it has been a couple of weeks of emotional, physical and mental challenge. it has been so hard i even wished not to wake up the day after.
and all these made my realize what i have been doing in my life...working to live? or living to work? and the realization struck me...how life here in the phils can be so unfair...because you never really get to do what you have been wanting to do all your life...because people here have to work till their 60's and 70's...because kids are being left at home by their parents and things will pretty be much like that till they grow up...
bakit pa kasi nauso pa ang luho...and how it kind of measures the kind of person you are.
oh well so much for my angst and ramblings...
anyways, i really ...like REALLY want to go to the US with Sam and Jay...and yup...go to Disneyland!!! Wooohooo!!!not that it's all ready and 100% sure...but i really wish...and pray the three of us can finally go there and have the grandest time...to compensate to whatever we lost in the last five months...
well, at first it seemed impossible because , if you've been reading all my blabbering at the start of this blog,work sucks. it seemed impossible for my bosses especially Miss O to approve of my 2 week unpaid leave come end of september. i couldn't blame her, like what i said, i was a mess. so i needed a plan B, and plan B meant to look for a new job...first, because of the trip and second, because i felt i can only have a break if i resign.so there i was...job hunting again!!!
so let me tell you about my jub hunting experience...well, i'd first have to say that i NEVER enjoyed doing it..as in NEVER...job hunting is time consuming, costly and most of all, i'd got to have a lot of excuses under my sleeve as each interview comes...
... to be continued ...
babyburn at 5:18 PM